Here we are again, on the cusp of a new Pokémon game’s release. Which means that I, once again, will be beginning the Pokémon cycle. Let’s go through the list and see how it goes, shall we?
Nine Months Before Game’s US Release
New Pokémon game announced. I declare that I won’t buy this version, as it’s exactly the same as ever other Pokémon game I’ve played.
This year: “A remake of Gold and Silver? I played those a decade ago! I’m skipping this one for sure!”
Six Months Before Game’s US Release
A new feature is announced for the game. Though my interest is mildly piqued, I still stand firm.
This year: “A pedometer? This could be the excuse I need to start working out… But, no, Nintendo’s not getting my money this time!”
Three Months Before Game’s US Release
New screens confirm that this game is exactly like every game before it. A “new” feature is announced that looks oddly familiar.
This year: “Day and night cycles? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that in a Pokémon game before. No dice.”
One Week Before Game’s US Release
Reviews once again confirm that the game is exactly like every predecessor.
This year: “Take that Soulsilver! No way I’m buying you!”
One Week After Game’s US Release
Podcasts discuss how much fun the game is, despite being exactly like all the others. I start to feel nostalgia.
This year: “Huh. You know, I never did actually finish the Final Four in any of these…”
Two Weeks after Game’s US Release
I decide to buy one of the older games at a used game store, thus satiating my Poké-hunger at a discount price. I am always surprised at the game store.
This year: “They’re still charging thirty bucks for Diamond?! I’m almost positive this is the same @#$% copy I sold them last year!”
Two and a Half Weeks after Game’s US Release
I go to Wal-Mart to buy some Windex and somehow end up with a copy of the new game.
This year: “Where’s that @#$% Lugia?”
One Month After Game’s US Release
New Pokémon game announced. I look at the last generation game which sits half-finished in my DS cartridge slot.
This year: We’ll see in a few weeks, but I’m guessing something along the lines of “This year I swear to God herself that I’m not buying that mother @#$%-god @#$%-son of a @#$% new game.”
Editor’s note: I wrote this blog in MS Word, which automatically changed “Pokemon” to “Pokémon.” Resistance is useless.
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